We all want what's His

"Well, God is in His heaven
And we all want what's His
But power and greed and corruptible seed
Seem to be all that there is"

- Bob Dylan, Blind Willie McTell

John Steinbeck rolls over in his grave

It was a picture perfect day at the National Steinbeck Center in Salinas, California.

The walk through the John Steinbeck Exhibition Hall was awe inspiring. I was beating myself up over having read only The Grapes of Wrath, which left me unable to fully appreciate and enjoy the wonderful exhibits showcasing the richness of his writings and characters from his other masterpieces such as Cannery Row, East of Eden, Of Mice and Men and The Winter of Our Discontent, just to mention a few.

Then we walked over the Robobank Agriculture Museum which is also housed inside the Center. The pamphlet promises "the stories of the Salinas Valley 'from field to fork.'"

Couldn't hurt to learn more about the birthplace of one of the world's greatest literary giants, could it? Besides, he was one of our very own, California's native son. Take that, Charles Dickens!

Here is a blurb about the role of telegraph back in the day. It reads (emphasis mine), "there were more Western Union messagaes sent from Salinas."



You know, the man this museum is said to honor was only a Nobel Prize winner in Literature, not the national spelling bee contest winner.

A couple of more gems for you here.



It should read, "most produce," not product. And what is the deal with the incomplete sentence?

As I said, the man the Center is named after was only a Nobel Prize winner in Literature, not in Proofreading.

Here is a picture of an exhibit in Spanish. I am sure it is riddled with typos. Give me a few weeks to brush up on my Spanish. I'll find them for you.

A new word coined

How does a blogger know if his "blogging friends" truly value him?

Invent a new word, submit it to urbandictionary.com, promote it on your blog, and beseech your so-called blogging friends to give it a thumbs up.

Back in March 2007, I did just that, and announced the births of two new words coined by yours truly. It has been almost a year and a half and the words "e-enemy" and "blogamy" have garnered a whopping 23 and 26 thumbs up votes respectively.

I will not confirm nor deny that all of the votes came from me.

Here is a new urbandictionary.com submittal which I hope drop everything to give a huge thumbs up. Vote early and vote often.

gomorrah

To treat guests with disrespect and inhospitality.

According to popular belief, rampant homosexuality in the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah incurred God's wrath and the subsequent destruction of the cities. However, according to liberal scholars of the Bible, whether homosexuality was the primary reason remains debatable. Arguing from Ezekiel 16:49-50 and Matthew 10:14-15, they assert that inhospitality played a significant role.

They have a point. Nowhere in the Bible explicitly states that homosexuality prompted God to set off a divine nuclear explosion on the two cities. The Bible doesn't say it, and I don't adhere to the school of that-goes-without-saying any more. I will leave that to the upstanding citizens of the Westboro Baptist Church. Moreover, the aforementioned passages do explicitly mention the cities' failure to "help the needy and poor" as one of the main reasons.

But, I can see where people on the conservative side of the debate are coming from.

You may recall the ugly incident in Genesis in which a mob of men surrounded Lot's house and called out his guests, so they might "have relations with them."

Think about it. If a bunch of men attempted to force me into (how should I say this) a boinking fest, "inhospitality" wouldn't be my choice to describe the ordeal. That's just me.

Also how left out would you feel if you were a citizen of Gomorrah? How come only Sodom has played a prominent etymological role for words depicting homosexuality, leaving Gomorrah to play second fiddle?

Besides, even if newly uncovered evidence placed the blame squarely on inhospitality as the primary reason behind God's judgment on the cities, it would be too late to abolish the words derived from Sodom.

I cannot picture myself of accusing my buddies of "sodomizing" me just because they are too lazy to stock up the refrigerator with my favorite brands of beer.

(I cannot believe I just wrote that.)

Hence the proposal to use Gomorrah to describe inhospitality. This will hopefully placate the concerns raised by the liberal side of the debate while conservatives still have the city of Sodom to kick around and unleash their homophobic indignation on.

Throw Gomorrah under the bus! It is long overdue. The inhospitable scumbags of Gomorrah have been spared from our self-righteous condemnation for too long!

Usage Example:

You are cordially invited to a dinner party at David Cho's residence. You should come because David will NOT gomorrah you.

PS: Do you notice "hospitals" aren't all that "hospitable" especially if you have an HMO insurance? When was the last time your doctor brought you a coffee and a bagel before putting on those dreaded latex gloves on? Yikes.

When Google fails me

My faithful readers and Facebook friends step up to the plate.

Who said this? This is my paraphrase, not the actual quote I read some years ago.

A virtue practiced to the exclusion of all other virtues is evil

Thanks

Must be a slow news day

Picked up a box of popping corn while shopping at Costco tonight. This on the narrow side of the box caught my attention:



Sigh....

Has the cheesy net lingo invaded the real world outside the Internet and cell phones?

"OMG" Cholesterol?

What is there to OMG about when it comes to Cholesterol? My doctor just lectured to me again about watching my life style to lower the Cholesterol levels, and I had to lie to him about my diet. Now a box of popping corn taunts me with a silly Internet acronym?

What's next? Shampoo bottles screaming, "LOL baldness"? Sorry, can't come up with a better analogy. It was a long first day at work.

Upon further review, the box does not read OMG. It actually reads 0mg which stands for zero milligrams. In this country, you won't see metric units used much outside of nutritional data in fine print on food products, so what else was I supposed to think? I am not a nutrition geek.

But then, if they used the ounce which is abbreviated oz, the box would read "0oz Cholesterol." That is just gross.

I think I spend too much time hating on the cheesy net lingo.

♥ BFF ♥,
David

I forgot to tell you

Two Fridays ago, I ended up in the emergency room passing kidney stones. No, this is not a joke.

There is no need to go into the gory details, but I have made a few life style changes which include drinking a lot of water and quitting soda.

What else should I do? Do you think I should donate one of my kidneys to reduce my risk by 50%?

Now that my credibility has taken a dive..

This must be how Night Shyamalan feels about his once promising career. In the aftermath of his blockbuster success with the Sixth Sense, movie goers now walk into Night Shyamalan's films bracing for equally suspenseful and shocking endings. None of the movies he has directed since then have reached the level of success and hype enjoyed by the Sixth Sense.

Rest assured that I will not pull a prank like this again. Until your guard is down, that is.

It may shock you to learn that this was not the first time I pulled a similar prank. This is a true story. Trust me.

Back in 1999, when the dotcom boom was in full swing, I made a career switch to the software engineering field. You may remember the skyrocketing job market when lucrative 6 figure jobs with hefty stock options and bonuses were not uncommon. In my case, I took a modest pay cut and landed a mid-level job at age 33 because of my limited experience in the field. Getting my foot in the door at a growing technology company was my priority.

After a few months into my new job, I sent a group of my ex-coworkers an email with details of a lucrative job offer I had landed. Of course, the story had the exact same ending:  The alarm clock rang and I woke up.

Within minutes, this girl I used to work with called. "Congratulations, David. I am so happy for you!"

It was apparent that she had not gotten to the punch line. She was at least 3 paragraphs away from the fateful moment.

"The job is in Seattle? I have really good college friends who moved up there. It rains a lot, but I think you will love it up there."

"Wow, a signing bonus of $150,000? That is awesome!"

Her voice got more and more feverish.

"And stock options. Wow! David, this is great."

"A company car? You should get yourself a Ferrari, David."

Let me tell you what it was like. It was like watching a state of the art locomotive lurching in slow motion headed for a train wreck. I could only brace myself with my teeth clenched knowing what was in store for this poor girl.

Then a deathly silence ensued. You could cut the air with a knife.

After about a good two minutes,

"You [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]"

Her reaction set off a fit of uncontrollable laughter. After a few minutes of gasping for air, I finally managed to muster a few words:

"Maryanne, I'm dying here. HAHAHA"

"What a great idea, David Cho. Please die."