Saturday, November 05, 2005

Note To Self No 3

Keep your mouth shut when women discuss weight.

The dialogue below should be considered a work of fiction. I will neither deny, nor confirm....

Woman: I need to lose some weight.

Me: It's not the weight one needs to lose. It is the volume. One can lose weight while ballooning out. It comes down to the composition of the body. Muscles are more dense more than fat, and therefore weigh more, but occupy less space. By exercising and as muscles displace the fat, it is possible for one to weigh more, while getting thinner or visa versa.

Woman: ...........

Me: Do you remember from school how weight, mass, and volume work? Weight is not the sole variable in the equation.

Woman: ...........

Me: Let's suppose you are a van. Have you noticed as boxes are loaded into and removed from the van, its volume stays the same?...

10 Comments:

At November 06, 2005 11:31 AM, Anonymous closetfreak said...

you are so right. what we want to hear from our men when we mention weight is.....nothing, as a matter of fact, don't nod, smile or even blink!

 
At November 06, 2005 1:43 PM, Blogger L-girl said...

Oh, I disagree. How about... "Why do you want to lose weight? You look terrific just the way you are." All variations on this theme are acceptable.

 
At November 06, 2005 3:46 PM, Blogger Just Rannin' Around said...

I was fine with the whole thing until you compared her to a van. I am afraid at that point I would have bust up laughing and asked if you were kidding. Of course that may be because I am not your typical female either. Someone could tell me I was fat and I wouldn't care and if I ask for an opinion, I want their honest opinion not a watered down version after all, it is only their opinion and then I can decide from there how much of it I want include in my decision. I am all about honesty.

 
At November 06, 2005 3:56 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

Actually this conversation took place (if at all) about 10 years ago. I brought up a van to demonstrate how an object's weight can increase or decrease without getting bigger or smaller respectively. But of course it was a horrible analogy even if it had been well intended.

 
At November 06, 2005 6:54 PM, Blogger Brotha Buck said...

wait a minute, you called the woman a van? Thats my job!

 
At November 06, 2005 8:27 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

closet, if we just freeze, that could be taken the wrong way too. l-girl, I will try, but keeping a straight face can be an issue.

Would it be too much to ask women NOT to discuss weight in our presense? There is no way to win here.

 
At November 07, 2005 4:18 PM, Blogger Jeje said...

:-)

 
At November 08, 2005 1:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know a neutral thing may be to say, "why do women worry so much about weight? It seems ridiculous to me." Then, you are neither calling her fat nor lying to her if she is....:)

jane

 
At November 08, 2005 5:06 AM, Blogger Bad Alice said...

I like the conversation between Queen Latifah and her daughter in the movie Beauty Shop:

Queen L: Do these jeans make my butt look big?

Daughter: Yeah.

Queen L: Good!

 
At November 15, 2005 1:15 PM, Blogger Elevated said...

hahaha well at least you didn't compare her to a brick house :P

 

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