Thursday, March 15, 2007

Shameless Plug: New Words

Here is hoping that an absurd entry like this will help me shake off writer's block.

It has always been my dream to contribute at least one newly coined word to our collective lexicon before I die. Given the maturity of the English language, the prospect of accomplishing that feat looked grim until the advent and explosive popularity of the Internet which has given rise to a flurry of new words.

So here we go.

e-nemy
Pronounced: EE-nuh-mee

Definition: An enemy made through hostile online interaction. Internet users typically make e-nemies in flame wars on rancorous discussion forums and more recently in the blogging world.

Example of Usage:
The blogosphere was once a placid corner of the Internet and safe heaven where people from all walks of life could come together and revel in narcissism and self-indulgence.

It all changed when John whose life long motto is "I hate everyone who's not me" discovered the blogosphere. Not only does he slam everyone who isn't him in his own blog posts, he invades others' comments and savagely attacks anyone who isn't him in a tsunami of vitriolic rhetoric dripping with cutting invective.

Nobody knows why he is so angry, or when his relentless browbeating will taper off. Despite his unwavering dogma, his ideological leanings are impossible to discern. He seldom makes sense, but he sure has made a lot of e-nemies from all over the world.

blogamy
Definition: the custom or condition of having a marital relationship strictly confined to the blogosphere. People in a blogamous relationship may or may not be married to others in real life.

Example of Usage:
Sharon, a single woman in her 20's, fell in love with David after reading his blog and soon they began corresponding through email and also commenting on each others' blogs. What started off as an online mutual admiration society became increasingly flirtatious and later serious and even steamy unfit for public consumption. 'Can you two get a room?', their blogging buddies frequently pleaded.

In the end, they decided not to meet in person after all for fear of ruining the ideal images of each other which they had cultivated through blogging (I think the real reason is "Sharon" is a 50 year old bald guy masquerading as a young woman). Instead, David posted an e-proposal, and Sharon enthusiastically e-accepted.

Three months later, they held a blogamous (adjective of blogamy) wedding, and continued to live physically apart from each other, but yet happily together in the blogosphere ever after as blogamous husband and wife.

*************************************

I have submitted these words to urbandictionary.com. So please go there and give me some love by voting thumbs up for e-nemy and blogamy.

I must admit that I am trying to take advantage of the newly lowered standard set by the word metrosexual. Now all bets are off. Not only does that stupid word amount to etymological nonsense, but let's face it:  Don't we already have enough words for men who spend a lot of time in front of the mirror? Like narcissists?

So you are unimpressed. That's fine. I told you from the outset that this was my attempt to shake off writer's block, so you knew what you were getting into. I'm sorry.

Here is my promise to write better posts in the future and up my standard. So up yours too.

19 Comments:

At March 15, 2007 2:17 AM, Blogger Brian Buriff said...

"So up yours too"?...
Oh, David. You didn't just give us an E-nema. Did you? :)

 
At March 15, 2007 6:10 AM, Blogger Amber said...

Hey David, you've got my vote! Both words seem pretty appropriate to me.

 
At March 15, 2007 8:53 AM, Blogger Susanna said...

Teehee. David, this is hilarious. I think both words are pretty appropriate. Though I've never heard of a blog "marriage". Don't tell me that David is you and you're married to a bald guy in his 50s who reads your blog?! ;)

 
At March 15, 2007 10:19 AM, Blogger David Cho said...

Geez, Brian. I was hoping nobody would pick up on that while I was still insulting people.

Amber and Susanna, thanks for your support. No, it is totally fictional. Totally.

 
At March 15, 2007 11:08 AM, Anonymous BarBarA said...

David, both of these words are great!

Can you please create one more word?

I've been in an on-line relationship for 8 months but we chose not to be
blogamous - so I guess we are living in sin? We are both single so it's not e-dulterous or anything like that. We can never agree on meeting...right now we are NOT going to meet. That may change by next week.


The scary thing is, I'm serious.

 
At March 15, 2007 11:18 AM, Blogger J.OTIS MERSTER said...

My favorite family word is a word my dad uses to describe anyone who has tripped, fallen, sat very comfortably on the couch, laid on the floor, or fallen asleep. According to my dad, this person "has collapsio". There are differing degrees to which one can be in a state of collapsio.

 
At March 15, 2007 2:25 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

"e-dulterous"? I like that, Barbara. Did you come up with that? It's not on the urbandictionary.com site. You ought to submit it.

merster, what is the highest degree of collapsio? Taking a nap?

 
At March 15, 2007 2:57 PM, Blogger San Nakji said...

e-nemy yes, blogamous no.

You are batting 500. Not too shabby ;)

 
At March 15, 2007 5:46 PM, Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Those are great! I know examples of both. You know how we talk about work husbands? Its a short step to blog husbands.

 
At March 16, 2007 9:21 AM, Blogger J.OTIS MERSTER said...

The highest degree of collapsio would be staring aimlessly at random blogs with no real purpose or intention other than passing time.

 
At March 16, 2007 10:08 AM, Blogger wagamama said...

Yes. I know who you are...I read Jen's blog enough :o) Nice to make your e-quaintence. Clever post by the way!

 
At March 16, 2007 2:54 PM, Blogger J.OTIS MERSTER said...

It is fitting that you'd come up with new words. Is it true that Asian babies come out of the womb with a dictionary?

 
At March 16, 2007 3:37 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

miss cellania, so there are blogamous couples out there?

wagamama, thanks for giving by. I love your screen name.

Merster, no they come out with pocket protectors.

 
At March 18, 2007 8:48 AM, Blogger Granny said...

I really enjoyed your post so I hope you won't take this the wrong way when I say the comments are at least as good.

 
At March 18, 2007 9:54 AM, Blogger L-girl said...

Pocket protectors! I like that.

Your words are great, but I wonder if they are new. I'd be shocked if someone hadn't thought of e-nemy before.

I agree with you about metrosexual. Not only is the word unnecessary, it's ridiculous.

Good luck with the writer's block. My method is to relax and let it run its course.

 
At March 21, 2007 10:40 AM, Blogger SUPER said...

Oh your blog always brightens my day. This is too good and very funny! And the pocket protector thing...riot!

I shall vote for both of your words! I don't know San Nakji...we may have to start saying Cho for President! The race is on!

 
At March 23, 2007 2:35 PM, Blogger rubyslipperlady said...

Super - are you throwing down the gauntlet? Those are fightin' words for SN, I'm sure.

Love it, David. I must vote for both although blogamous frightens me, seriously. Sad.

I wonder if I have any e-nemies? Probably not since I haven't been online enough lately. Just as well. I'm off to vote!

 
At April 09, 2007 9:57 PM, Blogger danny wright said...

What about Blurt-tise-ment. That's where you go to a blog and make a three word offensive blurt comment to get people to visit your blog so that you can increase your e-nemies list. That's not what this is though, this is a bloger-tisement, same thing with a little content. Let me know what you think about my blog. HE he he. BTW, enjoyed yours, looking forward to part II.

 
At April 10, 2007 12:42 AM, Blogger David Cho said...

Thanks for coming by Denny. I've seen you some place before. Can't put my finger on it.

 

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