Shameless Plug: New Words

Here is hoping that an absurd entry like this will help me shake off writer's block.

It has always been my dream to contribute at least one newly coined word to our collective lexicon before I die. Given the maturity of the English language, the prospect of accomplishing that feat looked grim until the advent and explosive popularity of the Internet which has given rise to a flurry of new words.

So here we go.

e-nemy
Pronounced: EE-nuh-mee

Definition: An enemy made through hostile online interaction. Internet users typically make e-nemies in flame wars on rancorous discussion forums and more recently in the blogging world.

Example of Usage:
The blogosphere was once a placid corner of the Internet and safe heaven where people from all walks of life could come together and revel in narcissism and self-indulgence.

It all changed when John whose life long motto is "I hate everyone who's not me" discovered the blogosphere. Not only does he slam everyone who isn't him in his own blog posts, he invades others' comments and savagely attacks anyone who isn't him in a tsunami of vitriolic rhetoric dripping with cutting invective.

Nobody knows why he is so angry, or when his relentless browbeating will taper off. Despite his unwavering dogma, his ideological leanings are impossible to discern. He seldom makes sense, but he sure has made a lot of e-nemies from all over the world.

blogamy
Definition: the custom or condition of having a marital relationship strictly confined to the blogosphere. People in a blogamous relationship may or may not be married to others in real life.

Example of Usage:
Sharon, a single woman in her 20's, fell in love with David after reading his blog and soon they began corresponding through email and also commenting on each others' blogs. What started off as an online mutual admiration society became increasingly flirtatious and later serious and even steamy unfit for public consumption. 'Can you two get a room?', their blogging buddies frequently pleaded.

In the end, they decided not to meet in person after all for fear of ruining the ideal images of each other which they had cultivated through blogging (I think the real reason is "Sharon" is a 50 year old bald guy masquerading as a young woman). Instead, David posted an e-proposal, and Sharon enthusiastically e-accepted.

Three months later, they held a blogamous (adjective of blogamy) wedding, and continued to live physically apart from each other, but yet happily together in the blogosphere ever after as blogamous husband and wife.

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I have submitted these words to urbandictionary.com. So please go there and give me some love by voting thumbs up for e-nemy and blogamy.

I must admit that I am trying to take advantage of the newly lowered standard set by the word metrosexual. Now all bets are off. Not only does that stupid word amount to etymological nonsense, but let's face it:  Don't we already have enough words for men who spend a lot of time in front of the mirror? Like narcissists?

So you are unimpressed. That's fine. I told you from the outset that this was my attempt to shake off writer's block, so you knew what you were getting into. I'm sorry.

Here is my promise to write better posts in the future and up my standard. So up yours too.