Memo to My People

It's just not a good idea to operate a restaurant frequented by our people next to a pet hospital in America. You just have to trust me on that.

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Well, I have to confess, since we are all friends here, that I dined there just last night.

At the restaurant, that is. Thank you for asking.

The dish was "Kung Pao Chicken."

And I am reasonably sure it was chicken, and even though according to popular belief, everything tastes like chicken, I think my taste buds can differentiate real chicken from everything else that tastes like chicken. I really think so.

The culinary activity, mastication and eventual consumption took place exclusively between the Gallus gallus species and the mankind, and as far as I know, no other species besides a few members of the Plant Kingdom participated in last night's inter-species food chain enterprise.

After perusing through the menu, I communicated my wishes in explicit spoken words to the waiter without exchanging winks, secret gestures or any other kind of nonverbal communication.

I said, "Kung Pao Chicken, please."
He said, "What would you like to drink?"
I said, "Coke. And no fries with that."

It was as normal a business transition as it could be, which involved delivering the service(Kung Pao Chicken) and money changing hands in the form of financial compensation between myself and the waiter.

I also did not loiter around the pet hospital to size up the animals being carted in and out of there. There were one German Shepard, one Boston Terrier and two dogs of indeterminate breeds in the receptionist area, but who's counting? They were so cute, I could eat them up (get it?).

Noah is from the shelter. I always tell people that I was the first Korean ever to get a dog from the pound, not by the pound.

These stupid jokes never get old.