Thursday, March 29, 2007

You know you need to get out more

when spammers are the only ones to have wished you a Happy Birthday. Ah the 21st century...

Well, actually a couple of real people have as well, and the day isn't over.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Homosexuality (Part 1)

Corpus Christi and Ted Haggard

This email arrived in my inbox from a friend whom I had not talked to in years.
My dear brothers and sisters in Christ,

A pornographic movie is being shot and is intended to show up in America soon, which shows Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals. This is similar to a play that has been in the Theatre halls for a while. It's called "Corpus Christi" which means "The Body of Christ".

A petition follows this alarm raising message with dire warnings of a moral calamity should this film land in the United States.

A quick search through exposes this Internet rumor as a completely baseless hoax which has refused to die since its inception in 1984.

Due diligence, anyone?


You probably have heard of pastor Ted Haggard whose spectacular fall hit the national headlines a few months back. When the allegations of visiting a male prostitute and drug use surfaced, he flat out denied and denied and denied and denied until confronted and overwhelmed by the mountain of deniable evidence.

Two months passed, and as the scandal was about to fade from public consciousness, he emerged to tell the world that he was now "completely heterosexual."


There is no need for me to present any more empirical data to demonstrate to you that no other issue with moral overtones sets off conservative Christians like homosexuality does.

I turned 18 when the gay Jesus movie rumor surfaced and was quickly debunked. Now I am a 40 year old dirty old man who still has a soft spot for Britney Spears despite her recent troubles. To think that she was only 3 years old that year. And a friend whom I rarely talk to comes out of the woodwork only to express his drive-by outrage about a non-existent gay Jesus movie just to disappear again.

Ted Haggard may still be unrepentant. He may still be a manipulative liar. He may still be an adulterer. He may even help himself to illegal drugs.

But my goodness, we can all go to bed tonight and sleep well because he is now "completely heterosexual." I was on the edge of my seat all that time since Haggard's spectacular fall sweating out his sexual orientation, but have slept very well since the revelation of his "complete heterosexuality."

Homosexuality. I am jumping on the bandwagon (or a minefield) to talk about it because obviously we Christians don't talk about it enough. So stay tuned. And please hold the fire. I get to strike first.

Important Addendum
Commenters are not to interact with each other especially when they disagree. That means you do not make references to comments made by others. If you like and agree with what other commenters say, you may do so, but not if you disagree.

You can express disagreement with me, but not with what my guests have to say. Is that cool?

Friday, March 23, 2007

A little worried here

After sampling a few energy drinks, I've learned that this one works best for me.

Should I be worried?

I am telling you this as a preemptive measure to prevent you people from blackmailing me by blackmailing myself. No one can blackmail me now.

I really hope and pray this this guy isn't for real and he is doing this as a parody.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Shameless Plug: New Words

Here is hoping that an absurd entry like this will help me shake off writer's block.

It has always been my dream to contribute at least one newly coined word to our collective lexicon before I die. Given the maturity of the English language, the prospect of accomplishing that feat looked grim until the advent and explosive popularity of the Internet which has given rise to a flurry of new words.

So here we go.

Pronounced: EE-nuh-mee

Definition: An enemy made through hostile online interaction. Internet users typically make e-nemies in flame wars on rancorous discussion forums and more recently in the blogging world.

Example of Usage:
The blogosphere was once a placid corner of the Internet and safe heaven where people from all walks of life could come together and revel in narcissism and self-indulgence.

It all changed when John whose life long motto is "I hate everyone who's not me" discovered the blogosphere. Not only does he slam everyone who isn't him in his own blog posts, he invades others' comments and savagely attacks anyone who isn't him in a tsunami of vitriolic rhetoric dripping with cutting invective.

Nobody knows why he is so angry, or when his relentless browbeating will taper off. Despite his unwavering dogma, his ideological leanings are impossible to discern. He seldom makes sense, but he sure has made a lot of e-nemies from all over the world.

Definition: the custom or condition of having a marital relationship strictly confined to the blogosphere. People in a blogamous relationship may or may not be married to others in real life.

Example of Usage:
Sharon, a single woman in her 20's, fell in love with David after reading his blog and soon they began corresponding through email and also commenting on each others' blogs. What started off as an online mutual admiration society became increasingly flirtatious and later serious and even steamy unfit for public consumption. 'Can you two get a room?', their blogging buddies frequently pleaded.

In the end, they decided not to meet in person after all for fear of ruining the ideal images of each other which they had cultivated through blogging (I think the real reason is "Sharon" is a 50 year old bald guy masquerading as a young woman). Instead, David posted an e-proposal, and Sharon enthusiastically e-accepted.

Three months later, they held a blogamous (adjective of blogamy) wedding, and continued to live physically apart from each other, but yet happily together in the blogosphere ever after as blogamous husband and wife.


I have submitted these words to So please go there and give me some love by voting thumbs up for e-nemy and blogamy.

I must admit that I am trying to take advantage of the newly lowered standard set by the word metrosexual. Now all bets are off. Not only does that stupid word amount to etymological nonsense, but let's face it:  Don't we already have enough words for men who spend a lot of time in front of the mirror? Like narcissists?

So you are unimpressed. That's fine. I told you from the outset that this was my attempt to shake off writer's block, so you knew what you were getting into. I'm sorry.

Here is my promise to write better posts in the future and up my standard. So up yours too.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Writer's block again?

There are so many things I want to write about, but yet, once my fingers land on the keyboard, my mind seems to quickly fizzle.

To help snap out of whatever is deflating my drive to write, I have decided to borrow Barbara's blogging style and ask my readers a few questions and solicit audience participation. I am turning to you for inspiration.

The following quote from Bob Dylan's Masters of War caught my attention a few weeks back and it has been on my mind since. It will serve as a prelude to one of the posts that have been swirling around in my head, if I ever get to finish it, that is.

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you

Apart from the war debate which is what the song is about, how do the words above resonate with you, if at all? What do your generational clashes with those older and/or younger look like?

Speaking of Bob Dylan, I love this clip showing his interview with a Time magazine reporter. It never fails to crack me up.

"You got a lot of nerve asking me a question like that." Hahaha. Go get'em Bob!