I forgot to tell you

Two Fridays ago, I ended up in the emergency room passing kidney stones. No, this is not a joke.

There is no need to go into the gory details, but I have made a few life style changes which include drinking a lot of water and quitting soda.

What else should I do? Do you think I should donate one of my kidneys to reduce my risk by 50%?

Now that my credibility has taken a dive..

This must be how Night Shyamalan feels about his once promising career. In the aftermath of his blockbuster success with the Sixth Sense, movie goers now walk into Night Shyamalan's films bracing for equally suspenseful and shocking endings. None of the movies he has directed since then have reached the level of success and hype enjoyed by the Sixth Sense.

Rest assured that I will not pull a prank like this again. Until your guard is down, that is.

It may shock you to learn that this was not the first time I pulled a similar prank. This is a true story. Trust me.

Back in 1999, when the dotcom boom was in full swing, I made a career switch to the software engineering field. You may remember the skyrocketing job market when lucrative 6 figure jobs with hefty stock options and bonuses were not uncommon. In my case, I took a modest pay cut and landed a mid-level job at age 33 because of my limited experience in the field. Getting my foot in the door at a growing technology company was my priority.

After a few months into my new job, I sent a group of my ex-coworkers an email with details of a lucrative job offer I had landed. Of course, the story had the exact same ending:  The alarm clock rang and I woke up.

Within minutes, this girl I used to work with called. "Congratulations, David. I am so happy for you!"

It was apparent that she had not gotten to the punch line. She was at least 3 paragraphs away from the fateful moment.

"The job is in Seattle? I have really good college friends who moved up there. It rains a lot, but I think you will love it up there."

"Wow, a signing bonus of $150,000? That is awesome!"

Her voice got more and more feverish.

"And stock options. Wow! David, this is great."

"A company car? You should get yourself a Ferrari, David."

Let me tell you what it was like. It was like watching a state of the art locomotive lurching in slow motion headed for a train wreck. I could only brace myself with my teeth clenched knowing what was in store for this poor girl.

Then a deathly silence ensued. You could cut the air with a knife.

After about a good two minutes,

"You [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE]"

Her reaction set off a fit of uncontrollable laughter. After a few minutes of gasping for air, I finally managed to muster a few words:

"Maryanne, I'm dying here. HAHAHA"

"What a great idea, David Cho. Please die."

This should explain the long hiatus from blogging

Shortly after my last birthday, I finally broke down and decided to give "Internet dating" another chance.

Eharmony.com was my logical choice. As you may know, the online service provides a unique system of matching potential partners based on the thorough and comprehensive "compatibility" data its participants provide through the personality test.

I was deeply skeptical and reluctant. The last go-around with Internet dating was an unmitigated disaster:  For the women, that is. Suffice to say it is only by God's grace that I am still alive.

To make the long story short...

On April 23, Camilla from Sacramento, CA showed up as a match. What could I possibly have in common with this Latina bombshell, said to myself during a quick perusal of emails before heading out the door. Not only is her geographic location more than 400 miles away, but her cultural background and mine couldn't be further apart.

To my surprise, she initiated communication with me which I nervously accepted later on that evening. We instantly "clicked" both literally and figuratively. The day marked a magical beginning of 115 consecutive days of exchanging emails and phone calls, which culminated with my long drive to meet her in person back on August 5th.

With a bit of awkwardness in the air, we walked around the city for a couple of hours only to realize later that there was more than just "online romance." Since our distance did not afford us frequent interaction in person, the meeting allowed us to see how truthful we had been with each other.

I was absolutely smitten and captivated by her pervasive beauty. Little did I know that love could be this exhilarating and rewarding after decades in the wilderness of singleness.

After countless rounds of flying and driving back and forth to visit each other, I popped THE QUESTION during her visit down to Orange County last weekend.

To my dismay, she did not say YES right away. Of course, I had been on pins and needles unable to perform even the most basic functions.

Then the phone rang at 8 PM last night. Her first word: "Sí"

A joy incomprehensible. Words fail me.

About an hour later, the phone rang again. Well, this time it wasn't the phone. It was my alarm clock roaring like the Ringwraiths. So I woke up. The lamest dream. EVER.

You have yourselves a nice day now.