Noah's tummy has grown by almost two inches just from yesterday. The bloating is caused by an internal hemorrhage from the abdominal area under assault from the malignant tumor.
Although lethargy, not pain is the primary symptom, that he doesn't even want to go for a short walk tells me that he is no longer enjoying his life as a dog.
The line between letting him go, and giving him a fighting chance has not been easy to draw. But with the rapid deterioration of his health, I have come to terms with letting him go. I should not continue to let my love for him come at the expense of the quality of his life.
This will be our last night together, and I will stay with him during the day tomorrow until my friends arrive to join me. Let's hope that nothing catastrophic happens until then.
I have been running through in my head how I am going to load him into the car, take that dreaded drive, unload him, and walk him to the room at the vet where he will spend the last moments of his life. And hold him in my arms while he peacefully goes to sleep.
Don't feel sorry for me. I have been the luckiest dog owner ever. Thank you Noah for 11 wonderful years.