Monday, May 01, 2006

33

That was my waist size when I purchased a pair of jeans almost 5 years ago.

Went to Mervin's and bought a new pair for the first time since then, and my waist size has not changed. It is still 33.

Sorry if that is TMI for you, but in light of this, I cannot be more excited.

So TAKE THAT!

As you noted, the latest foray into the men's section at a clothing store was the first in five years, which may strike you as weird. As most men can relate to, shopping is not a favorite pastime for me, unless it involves a shiny piece of hardware with lots of giga bytes and giga hertz involved, that is.

In addition to common mental and emotional deficiencies that typical males suffer from, absent-mindedness has plagued me all my life. Performing simple tasks in life isn't as easy for me as it is for most normal people, and buying clothes compounded by my profound dislike for shopping in general poses a particularly monumental and stressful challenge.

(I really have no idea why I am telling you all this)

Before stepping into Mervin's, I had to rehearse in my mind all the steps necessary to perform the task at hand and corral them into an algorithm. The object is to get it done and get the heck out of there as soon as possible.

Step 1: Pick out a pair of jeans.
Step 2: Go into the changing room.
Step 3: Remove the existing pair
Step 4: Put on a new pair
Step 5: (Decision time) Does it fit? Then after step 7, go to step 8, if not, go to step 1 and repeat the whole process.
Step 6: Remove the new pair
Step 7: Put on the old pair back
Step 8: Go to the cash register, and make the purchase
Step 9: LEAVE

Some of you may remember this particular Far Side cartoon. This one depicts an orchestra, in which a cymbalist is anxiously counting down to his moment as he is thinking to himself: 'I will not screw up....I will not screw up.' The caption reads, "Ernie screws up." He is holding just one cymbal in the one hand, but nothing in his other hand.

Most of the steps above are dependent on the preceding steps. Such dependencies force one to follow the steps in a natural sequence without much thinking. For example, you could not put on a new pair without having removed the existing one.

But unfortunately that is not the case with steps 2 and 7, and disastrous consequences can ensue.

I am happy to let you know that the last shopping trip was an astounding success. I remembered those two steps and performed them with flying colors.

And it's still 33. YEAH!

11 Comments:

At May 01, 2006 6:59 AM, Blogger A thinker said...

You are so funny :-D I'm glad to hear you passed through the process without to much traumatization.

And that you got new jeans.

Hoorah for David!!

 
At May 01, 2006 7:49 AM, Blogger Jenn said...

I agree with you about the shopping bit.

I absolutely hate it.

As for:

I have no idea why I am telling you all this...

Believe me, I understand. The need to spew personal information to comparative strangers is growing. Ahhhhhhh save me!

 
At May 01, 2006 7:50 AM, Blogger Jenn said...

And congrats on maintaining that trim waistline. Quite a feat!

 
At May 01, 2006 10:42 AM, Blogger Gretchen said...

Congratulations! It really does seem to be quite difficult for many guys to shop for clothing. My husband still has a couple of shirts that date back to high school...late 80's... I get to help him with that.
Anyways, it sounds like you were quite successful.

 
At May 01, 2006 3:15 PM, Blogger Granny said...

It isn't just guys, David. I'd almost rather walk on hot coals than go clothes shopping for myself.

And it shows.

 
At May 01, 2006 7:01 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

thinker, they are not vintage, but still look okay. What is it like to shop for vintage clothes? Are sizes clearly labeled, or do you have to feel your way through?

Yes, Jenn. I am very proud of my girlish figure (don't read into this too much).

Gretchen, those t-shirts can be worth a lot of money. It seems like people used to make statements more with t-shirts a lot more in the 80's than today.

granny, yikes.

 
At May 02, 2006 8:37 AM, Blogger A thinker said...

David: usually when shopping for vintage clothes, I can tell just by looking whether they will fit or not. Sometimes, I've impulse-bought without trying things on and they fit.

It's much harder when shopping for pants. Fit is more crucial and it's hard to find vintage pants that fit well or look good. Thus, much more necessity to try on. I also tend to buy pants new.

And I agree about the 80's shirts: I look for those at Goodwill!

 
At May 02, 2006 8:39 AM, Blogger A thinker said...

p.s. vintage sizing is also much different from modern sizing, so it's not easy to tell from labels whether things will fit. I have skirts that are a size 13/14 and they fit perfectly or a little big. With modern clothes, I'm a 4 or 6.

 
At May 02, 2006 9:28 AM, Blogger David Cho said...

Wow, now that I published my waist size, you are following suit? I am not sure how dress sizes would work for me.

 
At May 02, 2006 10:38 AM, Blogger A thinker said...

David: neither are we.

Best not to find out.

 
At May 03, 2006 7:24 PM, Blogger The Gig said...

LOL, LOL, Cho Cho -- You men are really quite different. There's nothing like spending a good deal of time shopping and trying on different styles of clothing; walking around the mall and buying, buying, buying. Well... I mean wishing, wishing, and wishing. What can I say

 

Post a Comment

<< Home