Might as well come clean about this
Just in case you don't monitor my profile page every day, in a few hours, the value of one of the attributes listed will change.
Here is a generous hint to those with twisted minds - my gender will remain as it is - a lesbian trapped in a man's body (My jokes will be better in the new era. Promise).
Warm words of condolence will be greatly appreciated, unlike those on the card I received 15 years ago at the tender age of 25.
"Oxymoron" is a contradiction in terms.
and in your case...