Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The grass is greener on the other side

Check out that luscious, well manicured lawn. Makes me want to do my Julie Andrews Sound of Music routine on it. How about you?

It's not mine. It's my immediate neighbor's. Now behold front lawn of the Cho Casa.

Honestly, I couldn't give a rip about what my neighbors would say and do about my lawn. That is, until one night, this thought crossed my mind out of the blue: 'What if they say behind my back....'

Warning:  If you are a strong adherent of political correctness, you should stop reading right now and visit another blog.

Okay, so you are still with me. I feel sorry for you. So going back to that thought, I was thinking, what if they start gracing me with this cute little nickname?

Korean trash

Let's back up here for a moment. Back when I was growing up, there were only two Asian nationalities known to Americans: Japanese and Chinese. "Are you Japanese or Chinese?" was how people phrased the typical inquiry into my national origin since most of them had not heard of Korea. At times I wonder if they can find Canada on the map.

Well, let's see, the United States lost [sarcasm] only 35,000 lives [/sarcasm] during the Korean war, so don't you think the country is kinda important to our history?

But I saw a silver lining in this. When I acted like a dork, the Chinese or Japanese reputation took a hit, but not my people's. So I considered it my patriotic duty to transgress with reckless abandon in front of white people as a payback for all the grief that Korea was at the receiving end of throughout history.

Now things have changed, thanks to this dude.

Has he fired his hair stylist yet? Helen Keller would have done a better job than that.

Despair not, ladies and gentlemen. Meet the Traveling Sprinkler.

As you can see, as the spinning arms spit out water, the rotating shaft gradually turns the back wheels pushing the whole unit forward. The front wheel rides the hose using it as a train track, which means the path of water follows the layout of the hose across the lawn. I love this thing.

Isn't that the neatest thing or what? Now you may ask, how does it stop? Or does it stop? Ah, now you are thinking.

Now only does this little guy stop the sprinkler from moving further, but it also pushes the button located on the belly of the unit which shuts the water off. Watch this.

Gets closer, closer, closer...

Now, not only has it come to a full stop, but the water has been completely shut off as well.

Korean trash maybe, but I own and operate the coolest sprinker in the world.

At least he doesn't seem to mind the trashy grass.


At July 12, 2006 2:37 AM, Blogger Brian Buriff said...

In Red Bluff, California, where I grew up, seems that we'd water the lawn every day. Since moving to Ohio (and the older I get) I seem to prefer letting it die this time of year - no mowing - one less thing to do. The same with Amber's flowerbed - spray "round-up" all over it, no need to pull weeds.

At July 12, 2006 6:02 AM, Blogger Bruce said...

Looks like Texas grass. I can always tell the people in my neighborhood with a sprinkler system - their yards are thick and green whereas mine is thin and dying. I can't afford to water every freakin day!


At July 12, 2006 9:22 AM, Blogger A thinker said...

LOL!! I love it. You are so freakin' funny, David.

Cool sprinkler :D

At July 12, 2006 10:34 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

I have to say that the sprinkler is pretty darn cool. I'd get one.
Very funny post and yes It looks like Kim Jong il did fire his stylist.... it makes me want to take some clippers to it... ok, maybe not.

At July 13, 2006 7:46 AM, Blogger Sarah said...

We had one of those sprinklers growing up. When you want to play in the sprinkler..that one is dangerous...and hurts really bad when you don't jump fast enough and it hits you in the chin! Trust me...don't attempt it!

At July 13, 2006 10:10 AM, Blogger rubyslipperlady said...

I'm not certain, but I'm guessing that Sarah means 'shin' not chin. Great tale. Thanks!

Dang it! Hooked on another blog.

At July 13, 2006 10:56 AM, Blogger David Cho said...

Yeah, I was trying to visualize how anything could hit you in the chin. The arms move really fast, so how can you move fast enough? W

At July 13, 2006 3:12 PM, Blogger J.OTIS MERSTER said...

This is absolutely hilarious! I don't think the words "Korean" and "trash" have ever been used in the same sentence before.
But, really, try and think outside the box. Maybe your friend Sarah was relaxing and laying on the grass when she got hit on the chin.

At July 13, 2006 3:51 PM, Blogger Friar Tuck said...

Answered your ?.

Still waiting to hear about the fundamentalism thing.

Have you ever heard of the book "The Wounded Heart of God"

At July 13, 2006 7:32 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

Okay,Okay...typo! I meant shin!

And I agree...don't think I've ever heard the words Korean and Trash used together either.

Amy and I have a younger sister Angie that is Korean. I'll get her take on that!

At July 13, 2006 8:48 PM, Blogger furyouhin said...

Oh my...your lawn. Sob. Care to hire me to work on it? Japanese gardener for cheap (plus the priceless satisfaction of some karmic national payback).

At July 13, 2006 9:55 PM, Blogger David Cho said...

Korean sister? She must have been adopted.

Japanese gardeners - now that is a thing of the past we don't see any more

At July 13, 2006 11:07 PM, Blogger Jenny said...

If it makes you feel any better, anyone who looks at the backyard of my house will note that I am white trash. So we'll be in the dump together. :)

At July 16, 2006 6:00 PM, Blogger The Gig said...

This is too much for me. I guess I may as well join your club since my lawn wouldn't win the Beautiful Lawn of the Year Award."

At July 17, 2006 10:41 AM, Blogger Mike Y said...

Hilarious post! Love that dude's haircut too.

To this date, most people never guess Korean anything. It's always Chinese or Vietnamese. From there, they start working down the list and may happen to eventually get to Korean.

Once, I was asked if I was Siberian. Who asks that???

However, my skepticism was shattered a month ago when I was at a business luncheon. One of the guys, out of the blue, asked me if one of my parents was Korean. Now he wants to go out for Korean food with me. I didn't have the heart to tell him I really don't eat it by choice, though some things are pretty good.

BTW, I too had one of those sprinklers. Never hit my chin, but I did hit my...

At July 17, 2006 11:50 AM, Blogger Oricon Ailin said...

Awesome water sprinkler! I guess I must be white trash...we have NO grass. All we have is concrete in the front of the house that we park 4 cars on.

I think grass is pretty in pictures but a terror to have in real life. Here in El Paso, the water utitily company is giving credits to people who get rid of their grass and add xeroscaping to the yards. (uses FAR less water)

At July 17, 2006 6:29 PM, Blogger Brotha Buck said...

LoL! David, I hate to admit, but I wondered if Asian women found him attractive, or if he is just universally ugly. Hey, in answer to your question, I'm taking a break. I'm working on getting an agent, and writing some stories that I can shop to an agent. Once I get some publishable material finished, I'll be back to blogging. I think.

At July 18, 2006 6:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is embarrassing; I recently did not know where Toronto Canada was........

but I know the difference between china, japan, korea and vietnam;

honestly, I just about failed geography- but I always did well with sociology- go figure.


At July 18, 2006 8:06 PM, Blogger Gary Means said...

I have friends and relatives in Anchorage, Alaska. One friend, Steve, who had just moved down from Nome, where they do not worry about lawns, took a look at all of the neighbors's lawns and noted that one lawn was lush and deep green. As a brand new homeowner, he wanted a lawn that looked like that too. Steve bought the same seed, followed his neighbor's instructions, and soon, he too had an awesome, thick, deep green lawn.

But next spring, when the snow melted, he saw that there were two totally dead lawns on the block, his and his neighbors. Soon his neighbor was rototilling his dead lawn under.

The seed the neighbor used was an annual seed, which meant that if Steve wanted that same lush green lawn, he needed to replant it every year! That summer he had to replant, but this time with a seed that would last through an Anchorage winter. Live and learn.

At July 20, 2006 6:56 PM, Blogger Jenn said...

David, that was HILARIOUS. Thank you for giving me a great laugh to brighten an exhausted evening.

At July 21, 2006 5:59 PM, Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Honestly, that neighbor's lawn you covet looks boring to me. Mine has sop many different kinds of weeds growing in it, we have something new to explore always! Onion grass, violets, dandelions, crabgrass, clover, buttercups, and regular Kentucky bluegrass. With paths worn through where the children play. I'm so glad my white trash neighborhood doesn't care!

But you sure do have an awesome sprinkler!

At August 05, 2006 11:12 AM, Blogger ManNMotion said...

I need to get one of those things. The sprinkler and the dog I mean, not the haircut.

At August 12, 2006 2:30 AM, Blogger Elevated said...

I really hope your neighbors didn't see you taking those pictures...they'll think you're Japanese for sure. hahahahaah

At October 03, 2016 9:39 AM, Anonymous Gratis Lagu Terbaru said...

LOL. I agree with you, elevated. Japanese always do weird things.


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