Friday, July 29, 2005

Note To Self No. 2

Let's pray and hope that this is the last in the "Note to Self" series.

When somebody whom you haven't even met goads you into throwing down the guantlet with fighting words such as how her friend's bizarre genetic mutation could put my "delusional lower lip ability to shame,"

(very lovely)

- It's okay to get riled up. Emotional health is a key ingredient of happiness.

- It is okay to respond with a quick retort, "You know, I can do that too," without really checking to see if you can match the ability. A Can-Do attitude can go a long way in this competitive world.

- Now get to work. This is important.

- And it is perfectly okay to fail and then pick up the pens again and keep trying repeatedly. Perseverance will pay off.

- Don't give up. Your lower lip's glorious and triumphant feat did not come about in one day. As they say, Rome was not built in one day.


And be a little more alert to your surroundings before realizing you have a large audience of horrified onlookers with small children.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

My next girlfriend will

Get this for her birthday.

So will you go out with me? Pretty please.

[Addendum] I bet she will like the mouse. Not that I want to go out with her.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Coffee Cup Lid

This coffee cup lid simply does not work for me.

Those of you non-coffee drinkers may want get a close look and note the following physical characteristics of the coffee cup lid. Notice that the opening is located on the roof of the lid which I believe is the source of a deep quandary. This calls for an in-depth discussion. So drop everything you are doing. This is important.

Consider the mechanics of events taking place once the coffee drinker tips the cup in order to extract the content. The liquid is channeled to the roof of the lid, flows through the opening, and onto the outside of the cup to be greeted by the law of gravity.

Once the liquid makes its way to the outside, there is no way to revert back to the inside due to the small size of the opening, and the last line of defense before spilling onto the drinker's attire is his/her lower lip. The drinker's lower lip and the lid must be sealed tightly to ensure a safe and smooth transfer from the cup to the destination which is the drinker's mouth, not his/her clothing.

I spill coffee every day. Even at the highest level of concentration and focus while tipping the cup toward my mouth, I still spill coffee 99% of the time. Trust me. I press my lower lip against the lid very very hard. Contrary to what some of you may think, I don't get thrills out of sharing a big wet sloppy kiss with an inanimate object such as a coffee cup lid. Simple things like drinking coffee should not engender this much drama and agony.

So after this guy made his usual snotty comment about my soiled shirt for the umpteenth time, I decided to share this deeply private and personal dilemma with him against my better judgment. My lower lip does not get along with the coffee cup lid, I confided.

"You got a small lower lip. That's why," said so tersely, then he giggled.

Dude, you are 41 years old. I know you try so hard to be a "cool" neighbor to the teenage girls next door, but I haven't heard a girlie giggle like that since my niece was six. And QUIT TALKING WITH YOUR HANDS ALREADY. I know my way to my lips, dork.

Normally, a comment and creepy giggle like that would cause me to wallow in self-consciousness had I been more insecure. The Lord knows how much time I spend comparing how my receding hairline measures up against other men's. While stuck in Southern California traffic jams, my eyes usually scan through drivers and passengers in the cars around me in search of balding men. Hey you in the Mercedes, could you turn your head this way so that I can get a good look at your forehead hairline? Oh yeah, yours has receded more than mine. Thank you for making my day. You are 75? You still made my day.

No, I don't plan on doing the same with people's lower lips. Why? Because my lower lip, ladies and gentlemen, can perform a very special talent which most people haven't seen or even heard of.

My lower lip can weightlift. Look.

No, the picture is not doctored. Email me for a private demonstration if you wish. My small and delicate lower lip can weightlift a pen, up five toothpicks at a time, three Q-tips, toothbrush, and as seen in the photo, a screwdriver.

Ask yourself this. Can your large and roast beef like lower lip do that? I DIDN'T THINK SO.

My lower lip - An embodiment of breathtaking acrobatics, precision, finesse, and grace.

>>>>>Thundering Applause<<<<<

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Buster, meet Buster

I've met two avid dog lovers like myself through blogging, and they both have dogs named Buster. What are the chances of that?

How much cuteness can you take today? Elevated, meet L-Girl's Buster.

Now, L-Girl, meet Elevated's Buster.

The sad part is, they both have problems with vision, but still are loved to death by their owners.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Killer or Computer Scientist

A few weeks back, I posted a link to this site, which presents the visitor with a series of photos of serial killers and computer scientists. Upon viewing each photo, you are to guess whether the person in the photo is a serial murderer or computer scientist.

Now I am inviting you to do the same with my own photo taken literally minutes ago. So sorry about the dirty mirror. I did my best to look very evil to confuse you. Geez, I do look like a fugitive wanted by the FBI, don't I?

Name: David Cho
Age: 39
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 155 lbs (I think)
Wanted For: Too many to name

To vote, click one of the following. Be honest. And BE NICE. You have been warned.

- Computer Programmer/Scientist
- Serial Killer (Don't do this)

Monday, July 18, 2005

Just so you don't lose sleep over this

Here is what made my David Blaine moment possible.

After the hostess walked us to the table, I quickly excused myself to the restroom and there I was pleasantly surprised to run into my HS classmate. Barely recognized him because he trimmed down so much.

It was there I got the idea of staging this whole scripted reunion. Told him the exact location of our table and he was to casually walk by it two minutes later, which was how I was able to pin point the exact time of his appearance. I returned the favor by walking by the table where he was dining with his wife. He couldn't keep a straight face and the wife picked up on our ploy right away.

My date on the other hand still doesn't know. Haven't talked to her in years, so unless she finds her way to my blog, that is.

Isn't that the cheesiest thing you've ever heard or what?

Sunday, July 17, 2005

My David Blaine moment

After catching a movie, my date and I decided to get dessert at a restaurant she picked at the spur of the moment.

After we were seated at a table, I turned to her and said, "My crystal ball tells me that in a minute or so, a high school classmate of mine will be walking by."

She responded with a puzzled look, and sure enough, seconds later, my high school classmate named John walked by. I hollered, "John! Remember me from Uni High? David Cho?"

John looked startled, but immediately recognized me. "David!, how the heck are ya?" We exchanged a light (very light, mind you) hug, spent a few minutes catching up, and traded contact information to further catch up later.

By now, my date's jaw had dropped on the floor. "I don't believe you. You set this whole thing up, didn't you?"

Some facts to consider:
  • She, not I, picked the restaurant at the spur of the moment. No, I did not manipulate her into picking that restaurant. It was 100% her choice.
  • I later showed her John's photo in my high school yearbook (Where did that yearbook go?) to prove that he was indeed my HS classmate.
  • Our table was in a partitioned area, so we couldn't see much of the restaurant. John did not become visible to where we were sitting until he was right by the table.
Any other questions?

How did I do it? Post your guesses.

The Prizes for Winners

The first person to guess it right gets a dinner date with me.

The second person to guess it right gets two dinner dates with me.

And so on and so forth...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


You may have noticed a new heading named "Reading" to your right.

I used to be a voracious reader as a kid, reading everything that I could get my hands on, but that hobby took a back seat to learning the new language and keeping up with school after we moved to the United States. Burying my nose in hardcore engineering and science textbooks in college left me very little time to delve into classic literature, and now I feel really illiterate and uneducated.

At my last company, a group of us organized and ran a bookclub. We'd agree on a book to read, and then reconvene a few weeks later to discuss before picking another one. It was a lot of fun, and I really miss it.

So by noting the name of the book and my start date on the blog, I am hoping to be held accountable by the online community and to motivate myself to read more and thus expand my intellectual horizons. After I am done, I will take a stab at writing a book review.

I picked John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath after seeing it top so many people's lists including L Girl’s. You are more than welcome to contribute comments about it, but please, don't be a dork and ruin the story for me. That I've done that to you and others with movies and books in the past does not constitute a good excuse for you to try to outdork me.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Note to Self

When a nice old lady donning a nice apron offers you nice food samples at a nice market on a nice day,

- smile and thank her for her generosity
- take the sample she hands to you
- taste it
- dispose of the toothpick by placing it on the designated paper plate
- thank her again and continue with your life

DO NOT, after tasting the food sample, take the SAME toothpick and help yourself to another one. You are not at a Bar-B-Que and the nice old lady is not your Mom.

I will neither confirm nor deny whether I engaged in the aforementioned deed or not. Just sayin..

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Nerds make better lovers

Okay, so after the umpteenth time I received the same link from the umpteenth well meaning individual who couldn't contain his/her enthusiasm upon finding this, I've finally decided to post the link as a public service. This might be old news for some of you, but please bear with me.


It's titled Nerds Make Better Lovers.

Now why would I be the first or at least among the first to come to the minds of these very well meaning individuals when they saw the word "Nerds"?

I'm not that nerdy, am I?

(David is greeted by a deafening and awkward silence followed by scattered giggles...)

Okay, fine. Same to you.

Besides, I have real problems with what the article says. How is it that Tiger Woods is held up as an example of a nerd? Tiger Woods? Yeah, as if a girl is seen hanging out with Tiger Woods, her girlfriends are going to think less of her because she is with a "nerd."

Well, anyway. Thank you all for your thoughtfulness in sending me the link. Can't wait for your next one. The suspense is killing me.

Friday, July 01, 2005

States I've visited

This is kinda cool. My fellow bloggers, be sure to create your own visited states map

Click for larger